I think most people are afraid to make mistakes, I know I am. I feel as if 2011 was a year of a whole lot of mistakes. I will list a few.
• I keep dating people who are too young for me. YES, I am aware. Shut up.
• I tried to fix a lot of things that I should have just left alone.
• I let a boy come between me & a close friend.
• I waited a year too long to become friends with people at school.
• I tried to get back together with a couple of exes & that was just a dumb idea.
• I watched a movie & got an idea in my head & then it ruined something that could have been really great with a special person.
• I did not study enough. Well, until the end of the semester when I had to put my ass into overdrive & then it still was not enough.
Maybe to someone looking in and not knowing what went on, some of these seem like minor mistakes. These mistakes, though, had a big impact on my personality & the way I treat people. However, I’m going to give a few good things for every mistake.
• Now I know my limits or I have limits…
• Now I know that trying harder is not always a good thing & that I need to be less stubborn in all aspects of my life. I should be more accepting of what is happening & deal with it. Or in some cases, trying to impress someone against your morals is REAAAAALLY stupid. A lot.
• Me & this girl have made up & now I’m paying for what I did to her, but that’s okay because I was a bitch & totally deserve it. Now I won’t ever put myself into that situation again.
• I will not be shy in new situations or at least I am going to try! I know I will regret not putting myself out there later.
• Exes are exes for a reason. That chapter is over, they probably haven’t changed or they have, but now they have to pay for what they did to you. A few months, or a year or two does not change much about a person, generally. Drink some fresh new water and leave your backwash behind.
• If I could go back to May of last year & slap myself for thinking this would actually work the way it did in the movie, I would. Life is not like the movies in that there is a story after the credits. Think about it.
• SCHOOL IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING RIGHT NOW. I’m studying to obtain a degree in theatre. So, I should probably take it more seriously than boys & friends & stupid stuff. Makes sense, huh? Seeing how theatre is one of the things I love most.
All of these small mistakes lead to major happenings in my life. I have some stories, let me tell you, but from those mistakes I have become a stronger person. I know more about what is right and what is stupid. This past year has taught me quite a bit about taking a chance even when there are repercussions to your decision. Sometimes you just have to take a chance and see what happens. Those chances may end up being mistakes, but I would have rather taken the chance & said sorry than not taken the chance at all.
So, thank your 2011 for offering me chances to take and mistakes to make. You won’t learn any other way. :)
